question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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