We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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