wat bout pragnant strippers??
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
