My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
