Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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