and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
