So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
How's work?
Spinning.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
