Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
