How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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