My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
