so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize