Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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