If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
