she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
