If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
