About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
