if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize