AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
