oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize