I accidentally burped into my bong.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
