he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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