I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
