i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
