We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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