There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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