I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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