im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
