I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
