Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
