She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
