i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
