Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Alive.
So much puke
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
