You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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