you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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