you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize