Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
