maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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