No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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