Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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