How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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