Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
