you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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