Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
