he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
