i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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