I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
