My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
