Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
