one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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