It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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