I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Randomize
