just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Ladies don't puke and tell
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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