batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
