somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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