white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
