I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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