I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
