Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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