there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
