but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
