I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
