I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
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I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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