If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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