so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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