Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
