Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
