My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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